you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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