The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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