Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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