I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
