It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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