The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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