In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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