The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
