3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize