I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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