He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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