and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
