Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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