that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
4 words: hood of his car
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
