Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i will never coherently bang her
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
