my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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