If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
