do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
