But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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