He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
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I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
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Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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