I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
