No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
