Apparently you make a good broom.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
