He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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