There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
