she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
