I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
