i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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