Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize