We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Never joke about your clitoris.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
