He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize