so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I love having hate sex.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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