I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
