you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
