we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
