So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
and she was petting her beer can
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Congratulations! We have a period
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