I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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