Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
cat food counts as protein by the way
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
