i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
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