i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
