He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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