I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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