if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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