I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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