sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
