I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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