If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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