come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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