so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
