the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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