I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
