Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
