She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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