Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize