There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize