How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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