I will die if light touches me.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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