Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
