He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
